I fucked the Pillsbury Dough Boy.
Just let that sink in for a moment.
When my Sakura came in the mail, a moderately recent development of Tenga's Iroha line for women, I realized something. This vibrator is not your ordinary toy. It is not, nor will it ever be, one of the usual suspects. I sat there, dumbfounded, unable to do anything but squeeze it for almost an hour. Is it necessarily a problem that my first inclination was to treat this thing like a toy instead of a cumfactory? No, not necessarily *squeezes defensively*
This toy has more than a few problems.
Okay, I'm noticing a trend here, and that is the fact that people do not like charging by USB. Which is understandable. You shouldn't need your computer to masturbate for anything other than porn, and getting an AC adapter seems needless. But guys, seriously? I appreciate the sophistication involved with the charging but talk about the least subtle thing in the world. It comes with a charging platform (in retrospect, that should've been my first clue that this toy was not aiming for discretion) that plugs into the wall. The toy charges by aligning the two magnetic control buttons up with little magnetic spots on the black plastic platform. Charge fully before using it for the first time, which takes two hours and gives you about an hour to an hour and a half of use, depending on what settings you're using. And, for all that fuss, it isn't even waterproof! It's splashproof. A lot of good that gets me with my vaginal typhoons.
I've had this toy for two weeks now. I keep it in a room temperature location, I've wiped it off a few times, I've tried rubbing a towel on it vigorously while begging for mercy from the silicone gods, but alas, my vagina STILL smells like a toy factory. .
I'm not sure exactly what this thing is made out of, but ignoring the smell, it is made of body-safe material, and what can only be described as Tenga's super secret soft military-grade silicone that is completely dust-repellent with zero drag. Make sure to use water-based lubricants to avoid damaging the silicone/ marshmallow organs that this thing is made out of.
The Tenga Iroha line also comes in Yuki, an assless snowman aimed at shallow insertion, and Midori, a green drop with a pronounced clitoral nub. The Sakura was my first choice due its pincer-like tip.
Press and hold the + button to power it on, the - button to power it off. The buttons are pretty easy to press, and I do find myself enjoying the simplicity of this toy. It has three speeds, low, medium, and high, followed by a pulse option, which is a strength between medium and high that pulses.
I like to use the tip to hug my clitoris and I tried it on my nipple, but it was eh. The vibrations sound rumbly, but all they really are is surface-level buzzy. I can maybe get off on the highest setting if I close my eyes and try really, really hard to forget that the Pillsbury Dough Boy is going down on me. The toy's best asset may also be its most epic failure- it is so soft, so squishy, that it hinders the vibration. My hand gets plenty of vibing action, but it doesn't travel well through the pincers and to my clit. It just doesn't, and that's a shame, because that's why I got the damn thing.
This toy is cute. But is that really what sex toys are aiming towards? It feels nice, in a non-sexual way. It's soft, and it's there for me if I really need it, but I seldom find myself wanting it. It's the ultimate friendzoning of vibrators. The packaging was beautiful, elegant, and tasteful- but good packaging isn't always enough.
It is loud, it doesn't do its job (even when you bribe it with crescent rolls), the vibrations are mediocre, it's a pain in the ass to travel with, it isn't waterproof, and all it's done so far is act like a glorified stress ball. A really expensive, adorable stress ball.
Get it HERE at Good Vibrations, or at Shevibe !
Just let that sink in for a moment.
When my Sakura came in the mail, a moderately recent development of Tenga's Iroha line for women, I realized something. This vibrator is not your ordinary toy. It is not, nor will it ever be, one of the usual suspects. I sat there, dumbfounded, unable to do anything but squeeze it for almost an hour. Is it necessarily a problem that my first inclination was to treat this thing like a toy instead of a cumfactory? No, not necessarily *squeezes defensively*
This toy has more than a few problems.
Okay, I'm noticing a trend here, and that is the fact that people do not like charging by USB. Which is understandable. You shouldn't need your computer to masturbate for anything other than porn, and getting an AC adapter seems needless. But guys, seriously? I appreciate the sophistication involved with the charging but talk about the least subtle thing in the world. It comes with a charging platform (in retrospect, that should've been my first clue that this toy was not aiming for discretion) that plugs into the wall. The toy charges by aligning the two magnetic control buttons up with little magnetic spots on the black plastic platform. Charge fully before using it for the first time, which takes two hours and gives you about an hour to an hour and a half of use, depending on what settings you're using. And, for all that fuss, it isn't even waterproof! It's splashproof. A lot of good that gets me with my vaginal typhoons.
I've had this toy for two weeks now. I keep it in a room temperature location, I've wiped it off a few times, I've tried rubbing a towel on it vigorously while begging for mercy from the silicone gods, but alas, my vagina STILL smells like a toy factory. .
I'm not sure exactly what this thing is made out of, but ignoring the smell, it is made of body-safe material, and what can only be described as Tenga's super secret soft military-grade silicone that is completely dust-repellent with zero drag. Make sure to use water-based lubricants to avoid damaging the silicone/ marshmallow organs that this thing is made out of.
The Tenga Iroha line also comes in Yuki, an assless snowman aimed at shallow insertion, and Midori, a green drop with a pronounced clitoral nub. The Sakura was my first choice due its pincer-like tip.
Press and hold the + button to power it on, the - button to power it off. The buttons are pretty easy to press, and I do find myself enjoying the simplicity of this toy. It has three speeds, low, medium, and high, followed by a pulse option, which is a strength between medium and high that pulses.
I like to use the tip to hug my clitoris and I tried it on my nipple, but it was eh. The vibrations sound rumbly, but all they really are is surface-level buzzy. I can maybe get off on the highest setting if I close my eyes and try really, really hard to forget that the Pillsbury Dough Boy is going down on me. The toy's best asset may also be its most epic failure- it is so soft, so squishy, that it hinders the vibration. My hand gets plenty of vibing action, but it doesn't travel well through the pincers and to my clit. It just doesn't, and that's a shame, because that's why I got the damn thing.
This toy is cute. But is that really what sex toys are aiming towards? It feels nice, in a non-sexual way. It's soft, and it's there for me if I really need it, but I seldom find myself wanting it. It's the ultimate friendzoning of vibrators. The packaging was beautiful, elegant, and tasteful- but good packaging isn't always enough.
It is loud, it doesn't do its job (even when you bribe it with crescent rolls), the vibrations are mediocre, it's a pain in the ass to travel with, it isn't waterproof, and all it's done so far is act like a glorified stress ball. A really expensive, adorable stress ball.
Get it HERE at Good Vibrations, or at Shevibe !